Ten Years

January 20, 2016, is the 10-year mark in the journey of Crespi Family Hope and the devastation of the deaths of Tessara Kate and Samantha Joy. Their earthly existence is missed every moment of every day but the hope of heaven remains a constant focus as we journey through this life with purpose to bring to light what is right and just with love, faith, and hope.

David Crespi remains the first living victim in this tragedy.  On that day and on a cocktail of doctor-prescribed medications that induced a psychotic state, David killed his dearly loved daughters and was arrested. Within a few months of that tragic day, medicated, isolated and still unaware of the dire medication side effects, David pleaded to murder and was sentenced to life in prison.  Family and friends stood by David bewildered by his actions without knowledge or awareness of the medication’s devastating possibilities.

Withdrawal from all medications 2 ½ years later would confirm what research and the FDA’s warnings now state that some people can experience bizarre, unwanted and dangerous mental states while taking these psychiatric medications. Without the medications’ incapacitating effect, David Crespi woke up in prison.  Now, 7 ½ years medication free and notable years of healthy wellbeing while holding several prison jobs, David understands the effect medications took on his wellbeing compelling him to act without free will.

His responsibilities in prison include serving as a chapel clerk, being a teacher’s assistant to help imprisoned students obtain their GED and working as a geriatric aide assisting the infirmed and disabled in prison.  He and those on the outside supporting him have helped many of his fellow prisoners in this journey. He has remained a devoted husband and […]

2014 Reflections



It’s Christmas Eve 2014 and early in the morning, still dark and rain is falling.  Yesterday a book arrived for me from Tan Books with my name imprinted on its amazing gray leather cover with a sword over the top pointing down.  I held the recently published book, Manual for Spiritual Warfare, by Paul Thigpen and felt like I had just been knighted.  Wow! Being a girl in the spiritual army rocks and I am happy to be a part of this.  I have felt for a very long time that one of our greatest assets in our suffering is mercy mirroring Our Lady of Grace.  Even imagining the battle, the tears begin to flow. Being strong often means crying our hearts out to God and battles are won in ways unexpected and divine.

So I scanned the index of my new little (perfect sized) book and turned instantly to the back. I like the back of books and often read the final chapters; this bothers my kids but I am always looking for the final happy ending. I turned to the indexed hymns for the battle and got chills (good chills which seem to mean for me that the Spirit is willing to inspire). The hymn noted is “Christian, Do You See Them?”  There are notes that state: “The lyrics of this eighth-century hymn imagine a dialogue between Christ and the soul in spiritual warfare.”

“Christian, do you see them, on the holy ground, Powers of darkness stalking, raging all around?

Christian, up and strike them! Worldly gain is loss.  Choose instead the power of the holy cross.

“Christian, do you feel them, how they work within, Striving, tempting, luring, goading into sin?

Christian, never tremble, never be […]

The Dark Side of a Pill, the Danish Documentary, is available for viewing

The Dark Side of a Pill

Finally, the Danish Documentary is available for viewing here in the United States of America!!!

58 minutes – sensitive and intense information – please be careful if children are around.

Click here for viewing: supports the information presented in this documentary regarding our tragedy. These interviews were conducted in June of 2012 by film maker/director, Poul-Erik Heilbuth of the Danish Broadcasting Corporation.  David Crespi was interviewed at Brown Creek Prison.  Jessica, Dylan, Joshua and Kim Crespi and our friends were interviewed at our home in North Carolina.  David was medication free then for 4 years and remains medication free to this day without mental health issues.

This documentary is available to watch online now and has some upcoming airdates as noted below where Link TV is available.

This is amazing information and should be widely shared.  Remember the warnings regarding changes in dosages of these very powerful and potentially dangerous medications.

Link TV  –  From their website:

About Link TV

Link TV broadcasts programs that engage, educate and activate viewers to become involved in the world. These programs provide a unique perspective on international news, current events, and diverse cultures, presenting issues not often covered in the US media.

About KCETLink

KCETLink is the national independent public transmedia organization formed by the merger between KCET and Link Media. A viewer-supported 501c(3) organization, its content is distributed nationally via satellite on DIRECTV (ch. 375) and DISH Network (ch. 9410), in Southern and Central California via broadcast and cable, as well as through various digital delivery systems.

An exclusive, case-driven investigation into the one of the medical success stories of our time. Every tenth grown-up in the Western world is on antidepressants. With global sales of approximately 20 billion dollars, the […]

Considering Withdrawal

Any change in medication demands attention and extreme care for yourself and those around you.  If you are considering a change, please be mindful, careful, and communicative.  Let others know what you are going through.

I would like to share some of the things that I have learned in this journey in the hope that withdrawal, if it is the best option, will be considered with the most information possible.  Withdrawal from any drug is a very big deal and it is not addressed by most doctors as the difficult process that it is.  You should find willing and involved helpers (supportive friends and family and all the disciplines of healthcare with which you feel comfortable and even explore some that you may not have previously considered) and include them in the details and planning – and you must plan for your withdrawal.  Let everyone around you know that you are taking on the very important task of safely withdrawing from medication and moving on with your new life.

Psychiatric medications are powerful.  We need full disclosure to be aware of all potentially dangerous side effects but, unfortunately, drug companies have a vested interest in preventing some of this disclosure.  We as consumers are left to do our own research and make decisions with the help of those who really care about our well being.

In my experience, people change as a medicated person and then as a withdrawing person.  These changes are separate from the issues that made one choose medication in the first place.  These issues may still be present and may still require attention even as one faces the difficult challenges associated with withdrawal.

In our story of withdrawal, I now believe the symptoms […]

Hello from Jessica Crespi

2/27/2014 – Hello Crespi Family Hope Blog Readers!

Jessica Crespi here, guest blogging to tell you a bit about me and invite you to my Online Jewelry Boutique!  I am the eldest daughter of David and Kim Crespi as you may already know from reading the website.

As if the tragedy the website is centered around wasn’t enough and in a crazy cosmic turn of life events, I am home trying to recover and rehabilitate while suffering the debilitating effects of chronic Lyme disease and co-infections.

I spent a year undiagnosed trying to “push through” the many symptoms and make it through day-to-day life. I just didn’t know what was wrong and neither did anyone else. I went from being a healthy person working every day to barely being able to get out of bed due to awful physical aliments that hit me all in one day.

During the year of undiagnosed Lyme disease, the disease had time to attack many parts of my body.  Immediately receiving an accurate diagnosis and treatment could possibly have cured my Lyme disease but I have accepted that was not the journey I was meant for.  Flu-like symptoms without explanation even if you haven’t seen a bite mark may indicate Lyme (FYI!).

I am most lucky to be able to be home surrounded by the love and care of my own “Crespi Family Hope” while battling this truly awful affliction. With this disease I have learned quickly that much HOPE is necessary in suffering. Faith that it WILL get better is also crucial for this journey.

But in the meantime, due to my symptoms, and while I work towards wellness, I am unable to work a set schedule-type of job which brings me to […]

By |February 27th, 2014|CFH Blog|0 Comments

Peace of Earth – Christmas 2013

Let there be peace on earth…and let it begin with me

The kids and I went to Reconciliation last Wednesday night at St. Gabriel Catholic Church. We are now official parishioners of St. Gabriel’s enjoying the idea of being among the angels and the angel Gabriel is big among the angels we know of – especially during the Christmas season.  Our resident parish is St. Matthew’s, but it became too hard to be there after the tragedy.  Maybe it just used to be David’s parish and ours, but without him attending and the girls…just too hard.  We have friends there but it is a big Catholic mega church so perhaps a bit smaller is needed in our suffering.   We followed Father Reid across town to St. Ann’s when Jessica and Ryan wanted to get married there. St. Ann’s is a lovely small church that is so beautiful, complete with 12 life size statues of some of our favorite saints looking down over the pews.  The time that we attended St. Ann’s as a family was amazing and I felt like we had found our new home and community.

This comfort was short lived when Jessica became ill with Lyme disease.  The wedding plans went on hold and the drive and the mass times no longer worked with her condition.  We found ourselves continually meeting our obligation to attend Mass at St. Gabriel’s, which wasn’t St. Matthew’s but also wasn’t St. Ann’s.  The multiple Mass times made it possible to be together if Jessie was as up for the journey. We hadn’t planned to be there, nor did we make a conscious choice to be there; it just worked.  So, after over a year of making it […]

By |December 30th, 2013|Uncategorized|0 Comments

Tiger Lily vs. Cali – Saturday May 4, 2013

We picked up a new family member yesterday from the Humane Society.  She is a bundle of jumping joy; all 2 months old now.  What to name her?  She came with the name Dandie which is okay but I can only make this work with the longer form of Dandelion but is she that? I do have that urge to blow on her hair to see if it dissipates into the sky; it moves but stays attached.

Other names coming to mind are Cali (California poppy) and Tiger Lily.  I had started with Lily Rose but somehow she is not that.  Also, Disney comes to mind as no Disney vacation this year due to health issues that require us home centralized and there is the cost factor.  A mere fee to the Humane Society fits the budget much better than vacation plans with another reason to stay home.

She has long multi colored brown, gray, red and white hair.  She is quite beautiful already with crystal blue eyes.  She has a white belly and feet like a tiger.

So, I am researching the reasons I can or cannot live with various names and if they apply.  Tiger Lily is sounding like the most logical if logic should play into a name given to a cat.  Dude was named before he bounced out at me at the pet store and stole my heart with a glance.  His little black and white tuxedo self with wild white whiskers and eye brow hairs sold me that he was the one.  This kitty captured our hearts with her spunk and beauty and general fluffiness.  She is also very sweet and busy but settles in after a time.  Like in our arms […]

The 28th Candle and the Newtown tragedy

The Crespi Family is lighting 28 candles in honor of the lives loss in the Newtown tragedy.  Having been on both sides of this issue, that of the grieving family with children to bury and that of trying to understand and deal with unexplainable violence and actions of a family member is unique and difficult but offers answers.


I get the numbers as the candles are lit…20 children, 6 adults at the school, 1 young (so young) man who took his own life  and then 1 for his mother, killed away from the school.  27 are considered victims and then there is Adam, the shooter, the killer but another victim?  Most will not get even close to this idea but we went there…almost immediately.  Mostly, it takes my breath away and I am left to pray.  To keep my ear to the ground listening for clues as to the truth as brief tidbits are shared and then quickly disappear like something terrible but maybe revealing has just been said and then silenced.


The Natural News people are getting “It” and it being that medication probably was at the core of this tragedy.  Who acts like this without an intoxicating substance?  Who incites this kind of violence with their own energy?  Something is the compelling force and that force has been medication more than not.


I thank God everyday that my husband, David Crespi, did not take his life the day of our tragedy.  Sadly, I know all too well that being taken out of this life may have been easier on him and us too to some degree.  Prison and injustice is no picnic for this family.  Our days of bliss and happiness as a grateful, loving, […]

By |December 26th, 2012|CFH Blog|0 Comments

We made it to the Tabloids! Sunday, December 09, 2012

Yesterday, one of my mother-in-laws, Grandma Donna, left me a message from her home in Northern California to share the fact that she liked the article in the National Examiner.  A friend had brought her a copy to read.  She thought it was good.  She thought surely I knew about it but just had not circulated the news.

As always when Media hits, my stomach started to churn.  I have been busy.  I nearly forgot that the possibility was out there.  Weeks ago, I had been contacted by the media people at the National Examiner (a supermarket tabloid) asking if they could use pictures from my website.  I know that posting pictures anywhere opens them up for lifting.  It was nice of them to ask.

Then, a reporter contacted me asking for a brief telephone interview noting that he could ask the questions via email and I could respond that way as well.  I chose the latter.    Very thoughtful questions arrived.  I answer questions like this every day and feel that the effort of answering and the energy involved is part of my journey. I responded in written form.  He replied with appreciation and kindness.  I will include this dialogue at the end.

I held my breath and silently prayed.  “Please God…let them get this right.”  Often, the tabloid headlines read in the supermarket line are unbelievable.  Aliens, etc…the movie Men in Black comes to mind in that they used the tabloids to be alerted to problems…funny!  But this is me, David, the kids, all of us and the nightmare we live with everyday.  But, sometimes…Tabloids get it right.  And people read and are alerted to issues.

So, last night, after a long week and the kids and […]